Self-Insert"
by BakaMattSu
Summary: This improv was the result of a boring night and three obsessive fans (myself, BlueFiragaCarter, and Lady Aoi). Pepito, from Earth, suddenly finds himself in Otaru's Apartment on Terra II. The first secene ends in Conga...


**DISCLAIMER**  
  
None of use claim ownership of any of the characters or places presented within, nor do we take any liability for headaches, gag-reflexes, or other afflictions this half-sensible fic would cause. Enjoy.  
  
NOTES  
  
This story was completely unplanned, and just kind of wrote itself late one night when the three of us were chatting. We spontaneously broke into role- playing, and just couldn't stop. I, BakaMattSu, would like to quickly thank BFC and Aoi for one heckuva time while writing this. And as such, make sure you note that I don't take full credit (or blame as you may see it) for this work – it was a joint effort. I merely ended up as the messenger, so please don't shoot me! And for you other readers, I dare you to try and figure out who wrote for which character! Go ahead and guess! ;)  
  
* * * * *  
  
"SELF INSERT"  
  
A SABER MARIONETTE J IMPROV  
  
By BakaMattSu, BlueFiragaCarter, and Lady Aoi  
  
  
  
[SCENE 1 – OTARU'S APARTMENT Late Afternoon. A drowsy Pepito has appeared on the scene, quickly realizing that he's out of place...]  
  
LIME  
  
Yahoo! It's me Lime!  
  
PEPITO  
  
(yawns)  
  
Oh. Hao, Lime.  
  
CHERRY  
  
(sighs)  
  
Oh, Lime, you are always so overly energetic...  
  
LIME  
  
(runs around in her squeaky shoes)  
  
HAO!  
  
PEPITO  
  
¿? Um.... uh.... ne?  
  
CHERRY  
  
Slow down Lime or you'll hurt someone...  
  
LIME  
  
(jumps on top of Hanagata)  
  
Oh, gomen, Hanniechan!  
  
HANAGATA  
  
You stupid marionette! Watch where you're going!  
  
PEPITO  
  
Ah......this... is... i am sleeping already aren't i?  
  
LIME  
  
(grins at Hanna and bounces off)  
  
OTARU  
  
Oi, Hanagata, get off the floor.  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(immediately jumps up)  
  
Otaru-Kun! Imagine meeting you here!  
  
PEPITO  
  
.......  
  
OTARU  
  
(tries to run away)  
  
Um... yeah. I have to go over here now...  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(glomps him)  
  
Don't go Otaru-Kun! It's rude to leave a guest!  
  
PEPITO  
  
I'd better go home now... this is getting scary...  
  
CHERRY  
  
(points at Pepito)  
  
Hey, who's that guy?  
  
PEPITO  
  
Gh......  
  
OTARU  
  
(fights Hanagata off)  
  
PEPITO  
  
(tries to escape out the front door)  
  
Um.... I'm leaving... this is odd  
  
CHERRY  
  
(stops him)  
  
Just where do you think you're going? Are you a thief?  
  
PEPITO  
  
(nervous)  
  
Ah! No! No... I was just well... I... em...  
  
OTARU  
  
HANAGATA!!!!!!  
  
CHERRY  
  
I thought so! Otaru?  
  
(looks to see Hana attached to him)  
  
Why...you...Hentai!  
  
OTARU  
  
Cherry! Get him off!  
  
PEPITO  
  
eh...?  
  
CHERRY  
  
(Peels him off and tosses the guy out the roof until he twinkles away)  
  
PEPITO  
  
(nervous)  
  
i don't have anything.... let go....  
  
CHERRY  
  
Now, Otaru, look at this man!  
  
OTARU  
  
(dusts himself off)  
  
Who is this guy, Cherry?  
  
CHERRY  
  
(points to the Pepito captured in her grip)  
  
PEPITO  
  
(choking)  
  
CHERRY  
  
Umm...ano...um...  
  
OTARU  
  
Cherry, let him go.  
  
PEPITO  
  
(falls to the floor nervous)  
  
A-ha-haha  
  
CHERRY  
  
Now, why were you in Otaru-sama's house?  
  
OTARU  
  
Cherry, jeeze, calm down! He probably just has the wrong place!  
  
PEPITO  
  
This is a dream.... somebody pinch me... I dunno how I fell in this hole  
  
CHERRY  
  
Hole?  
  
OTARU  
  
Hole?  
  
PEPITO  
  
(nervous)  
  
Ah...  
  
CHERRY  
  
(looks up to the roof where there's a Hana-sized hole)  
  
But that wasn't there before I threw him, so explain that?!  
  
PEPITO  
  
I don't know anything... I just want to leave this place after somebody kicks my ass like that pity guy who's all messed in the floor  
  
(points to Hana)  
  
OTARU  
  
Uh... Cherry.  
  
HANGATA  
  
(from floor)  
  
My Otaru....  
  
PEPITO  
  
Ewww... is he.... gay?  
  
Bah... this is insane  
  
(nervous)  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(looks confused)  
  
Who am I?  
  
CHERRY  
  
(stares dumbfounded from the hole to the floor)  
  
But...but...I was sure I...  
  
PEPITO  
  
Can... I can.... I leave...?  
  
OTARU  
  
Cherry, we should at least invite him to dinner.  
  
CHERRY  
  
(submissive)  
  
Hai.  
  
PEPITO  
  
Ah!  
  
(sweatdrops)  
  
No! No! No! No!  
  
HANAGATA  
  
..... I hurt in places that no one should hurt in. Ever.  
  
CHERRY  
  
(politely smiling)  
  
You must stay for dinner, Mister...?  
  
PEPITO  
  
I don't want to.... what if she tries to slaughter me?  
  
(points at Cherry)  
  
I want my house!  
  
I don't want any psycho girl to chop my whole self... I wanna live... I'm young to die!  
  
CHERRY  
  
(noticibly holding back anger)  
  
Why would i WANT to slaughter you?  
  
PEPITO  
  
(nervous)  
  
You almost choked me....  
  
OTARU  
  
Cherry won't hurt you, mister... will you, Cherry?  
  
PEPITO  
  
(nervous)  
  
I don't want another grip of yours.... mommy!  
  
CHERRY  
  
Oh! Gomen na sai! I sometimes forget my own strength!  
  
PEPITO  
  
(give them all a puzzled look)  
  
HANAGATA  
  
I can't feel my left leg, Otaru-kun!  
  
CHERRY  
  
(suddenly notices smoke from the kitchen)  
  
Ano! Sorry, I have to go finish up!  
  
(runs off to kitchen)  
  
PEPITO  
  
(sighs)  
  
Okay.... I will be there for dinner  
  
(walks to a corner where to watch the show, scared)  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(gets up and glomps Otaru again)  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
(Entering the front door)  
  
I'm Hooome!  
  
PEPITO  
  
(jumps)  
  
Ahhhh! another freak!!  
  
HANAGATA  
  
Otaru-kun!!! Kiss it all better!!!!!!  
  
(makes kissy faces)  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
(notices Hana around Otaru)  
  
You...sick...twisted...freak!!!  
  
(shoots Hana to the moon!)  
  
PEPITO  
  
(covers his eyes)  
  
HANAGATA  
  
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
(twinkles)  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
Say, Otaru, did you know there's a scared looking fellow in the corner there?  
  
OTARU  
  
Yeah, I know, Bloodberry. He just...  
  
(shrugs and points to the floor)  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
(looks to the floor)  
  
He just what, Otaru?  
  
OTARU  
  
He just appeared.  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
Like Hanako does all the time?  
  
PEPITO  
  
Ahhh... don't kill me  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
(to Pepito)  
  
QUIET YOU!  
  
PEPITO  
  
I'm quiet.......  
  
OTARU  
  
Um... kinda.  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
What does he want?  
  
OTARU  
  
(looks at the stranger)  
  
What do you want, anyway?  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
(sudden thought)  
  
Is he a THIEF?  
  
OTARU  
  
I don't think so.  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
Oh, well then, what?  
  
OTARU  
  
(looks lost)  
  
PEPITO  
  
I just....  
  
I just appeared.....  
  
I'm quiet.  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
No, you can talk now...  
  
I want to know.  
  
We just can't have people appearing from nowhere, you know...  
  
I mean, how many married couples could live with that?  
  
PEPITO  
  
.....I'm leaving  
  
(rushes to the door)  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
Ne, Otaruu?  
  
OTARU  
  
... Married?  
  
Yes, Bloodberry?  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
Where's he gonna go?  
  
I mean, if he just 'appeared', then how does he expect to know anything about Japoness?  
  
OTARU  
  
Yeah, are you from here?  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
...and where to go for that matter?  
  
PEPITO  
  
(Slips and slams to the floor)  
  
ough....  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
(makes a schrunched face)  
  
Ouch...  
  
OTARU  
  
(helps Bryan up)  
  
PEPITO  
  
Ah.....I can't feel my leg.... oh... it happenned like that Gay!  
  
Aaah! I'm gonna die if I keep my feet on this place!  
  
Too-hoo!  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
(raises an eyebrow) Eh?  
  
OTARU  
  
He keeps calling Hanagata that.  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
Hana-what?  
  
OTARU  
  
(shrugs and helps Bryan to a chair)  
  
PEPITO  
  
Thanks buddy... it's good to know that we still have kind people on Earth...  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
(shrugs)  
  
Ah well, I need a good drink...  
  
OTARU  
  
Earth?  
  
PEPITO  
  
What? Isn't this.... Ah my gosh!  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
No, we're all out of Earth...  
  
PEPITO  
  
This seemed too out of itself to be Earth  
  
OTARU  
  
(looks puzzled)  
  
What's an earth?  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
(peeks around in the cupboard)  
  
Aha! Who wants sake?  
  
OTARU  
  
I think I need some.  
  
BLODDBERRY  
  
Ya-ha!  
  
(pours out three rounds for everyone at the table)  
  
PEPITO  
  
This is too much... What's taking that assassin too long?  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
(drops her sake)  
  
Assassin?!  
  
PEPITO  
  
What's her name? 'Apple'?  
  
Or was it Banana?  
  
OTARU  
  
... CHERRY!!  
  
PEPITO  
  
I don't remember... I just wanna get out of here soon.... too hoo...  
  
Oh yeah... Cherry Thingy.... thanks pal'  
  
CHERRY  
  
(brings in a full service)  
  
Hai, Otaru-sama!  
  
I've brought din...  
  
(stops, noticing all the sake around)  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(smashes back through the roof and lands on the sake)  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
Why...you...  
  
(smashes him back up again)  
  
PEPITO  
  
Ah.... doomed... I'm doomed...  
  
HANAGATA  
  
BAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!  
  
PEPITO  
  
I will soon follow that gay, ne?  
  
This is your plan isn't it?  
  
OTARU  
  
Who is this assassin?  
  
CHERRY  
  
(Dishes out servings)  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
(totally ignoring the comment about Hana)  
  
Yeah, this killer you mentioned?  
  
PEPITO  
  
The one serving the dishes over there....  
  
(points)  
  
CHERRY  
  
(drops a rice bowl and it cracks on the floor)  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
Cherry, you're an Assassin?  
  
PEPITO  
  
She wouldn't lemme give an explanation....  
  
She just committed to violently choke me!  
  
CHERRY  
  
(shakes her head violently 'no')  
  
OTARU  
  
What the hell --?  
  
PEPITO  
  
What.... now she's playing the saint role?  
  
That's it I'm leaving...  
  
CHERRY  
  
Otaru-sama, you won't let him say these mean things about me, will you?  
  
OTARU  
  
(pulls out his weapon)  
  
Of course not.  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
I think he's on to something...  
  
OTARU  
  
What do you know?  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
I mean, what does Cherry do all day long?  
  
PEPITO  
  
No need to waste your time.... I'm out of here anyways...  
  
CHERRY  
  
(Stands up)  
  
What do I do?! Bloodberry!  
  
PEPITO  
  
(Reaches the door)  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
All this time, you've been working behind our backs murdering people!  
  
CHERRY  
  
Why you brainless bimbo!  
  
PEPITO  
  
(slips again and slams on the floor again)  
  
OTARU  
  
Cherry, what is he talking about?  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
Wanna make something of it, Cutting Board?  
  
PEPITO  
  
My....head  
  
CHERRY  
  
(too involved in the fight to notice anything else)  
  
Yes I do!  
  
PEPITO  
  
I don't need anyone's help thank you.... Oh... my leg's back to work...  
  
BLOODBERRY AND CHERRY  
  
(In a cloud fighting now)  
  
PEPITO  
  
Is that a.... CATFIGHT!?  
  
VOICE OF BAKAMATTSU  
  
Yes, that is what you could call it...  
  
PEPITO  
  
Share some... haha.... this odd place has its ups and downs...  
  
OTARU  
  
(tries to separate the girls)  
  
VOICE OF BAKAMATTSU  
  
You've become involved in what's known as...  
  
known as...help me out...what do you call it when you put yourself in a fic?  
  
VOICE OF LADY AOI  
  
SELF INSERT!!!!!!  
  
VOICE OF BLUEFIRAGACARTER  
  
(SIGFIC)  
  
VOICE OF BAKAMATTSU  
  
You've done that....whichever you call it is up to you...  
  
BLOODBERRY AND CHERRY  
  
(finally get seperated)  
  
OTARU  
  
Now calm down, you too!! Cherry, what is he talking about?  
  
PEPITO  
  
(smiling)  
  
CHERRY  
  
Well, he was running away so I grabbed him to stop it...and well, I think I overdid it...  
  
PEPITO  
  
...on purpose  
  
OTARU  
  
Oh....  
  
CHERRY  
  
(sharp stare)  
  
Hey!  
  
OTARU  
  
(to the stranger)  
  
She didn't mean to hurt you.  
  
You just scared her.  
  
PEPITO  
  
(Sharp stare back at her)  
  
CHERRY  
  
(points at Bryan following his sharp stare)  
  
Did you see that?  
  
PEPITO  
  
(smiles) You really look cute when you sharp stare.  
  
Hahaha.... true  
  
CHERRY  
  
(face brightens)  
  
Really?  
  
PEPITO  
  
Erm... but that won't change the matter that you almost killed me...  
  
OTARU  
  
Can we just eat dinner like normal people?  
  
PEOPLE  
  
Are you people? Great!  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
Good idea, Otaru!!  
  
(Downs a big glass of sake)  
  
Good Dinner!  
  
OTARU  
  
(sits down and waits for his food)  
  
PEPITO  
  
This is not gonna be good....  
  
CHERRY  
  
(Dishes out the remainder of rice)  
  
There we go!  
  
PEPITO  
  
Oh, look what you've done Apple....  
  
You threw the rice to the floor.  
  
Huh?  
  
(leans to see)  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(pops out of the rice bowl and grins)  
  
CHERRY  
  
(eyes get wide)  
  
PEPITO  
  
(the crashed dish has a face of a deformed Lime)  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(belches)  
  
Good rice.  
  
PEPITO  
  
And what in the world is this?  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
(puts down her rice bowl)  
  
Suddenly I'm not hungry anymore...  
  
PEPITO  
  
Ah... when did the gay appear...?  
  
Hey.... whose bowl was this?  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(gets out of the rice bowl and curls up on the floor)  
  
CHERRY  
  
(Sharply stares at Hana)  
  
How do you fit in those tight places anyway?  
  
HANAGATA  
  
ZZZZZZZ  
  
PEPITO  
  
You talking to me Apple?  
  
CHERRY  
  
(Finally notices 'Apple' is her)  
  
Huh?  
  
HANAGATA  
  
Apple?  
  
CHERRY  
  
No, it's not Apple. It's Cherry!  
  
PEPITO  
  
Or was it banana?  
  
HANAGATA  
  
Do we have any bannanas?  
  
CHERRY  
  
Cherry!  
  
PEPITO  
  
What? i can't hear you?  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
Quiet Hanako!  
  
(gives him a small kick from under the table)  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(whimpers)  
  
PEPITO  
  
So this is how "normal people" eat.... interesting....  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(sits down by the stranger and tries to sneak his plate of rice away)  
  
PEPITO  
  
(wonder how freaks eat)  
  
Hey.... There's "something" down here. Is it the dog?  
  
CHERRY  
  
And it's CHERRY!  
  
PEPITO  
  
Hey Apple, I guess you didn't feed the dog well.  
  
OTARU  
  
(sighs)  
  
PEPITO  
  
Go some other place Fido.  
  
HANAGATA  
  
Gimmee!  
  
PEPITO  
  
Nice trick.  
  
(takes out dog food)  
  
Here's your treat.  
  
CHERRY  
  
(heavy sigh...almost knocks her over!)  
  
Why do I even try?  
  
PEPITO  
  
Talking is hard, even for a dog.  
  
HANAGATA  
  
Are you referring to me?  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
(taking a curiosity)  
  
I've also taught him how to fly...wanna see again?  
  
PEPITO  
  
(takes another bag)  
  
You're outrageous Fido.  
  
Fido can Fly?  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(throws a temper tantrum)  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
(cracks her knuckles)  
  
He certainly can!  
  
C'mere, Hanako!  
  
(Grabs him, winds him around a couple hundred times, then throws a fastball pitch)  
  
HANAGATA  
  
Why does this always happen to meeeeeeeee?  
  
(twinkle)  
  
PEPITO  
  
Hey.... wait a minute that's not a dog.... that's..... the gay.....  
  
OTARU  
  
What the hell does the gay mean?  
  
PEPITO  
  
Beats me.... but it sounds cool.  
  
CHERRY  
  
(not noticing no one paying attention)  
  
So, today at the market I saw the strangest thing...  
  
OTARU  
  
(listens)  
  
PEPITO  
  
(The stranger listens)  
  
CHERRY  
  
There were these two men...  
  
...they were LARGE...  
  
PEPITO  
  
(hums)  
  
CHERRY  
  
(pauses for emphasis)  
  
Okay...so I said they were large, right?  
  
HANAGATA  
  
So where is this going?  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
Where did he come from again?  
  
PEPITO  
  
Wow.... that's odd  
  
CHERRY  
  
Hey! I'm telling my story here!  
  
OTARU  
  
Yes, Cherry? They were *large*  
  
PEPITO  
  
Sure...  
  
CHERRY  
  
So, there's these two large men, and they're squabbling back and forth over their bills...  
  
So the first one flexes his muscles and goes 'Hey! I think you overcharged!'  
  
PEPITO  
  
(The stranger stares at Cherry too much so she gets nervous)  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(steals the stranger's food)  
  
CHERRY  
  
And the other's like 'No! I Gave you too much change!'  
  
PEPITO  
  
(stranger does not care, stares)  
  
OTARU  
  
Yeah?  
  
CHERRY  
  
...so they get so mad that they start wrestling like crazy...  
  
..and eventually the one drops the other one, and grabs the bill...  
  
PEPITO  
  
(stares)  
  
CHERRY  
  
Then he looks really sheepish and looks down to the unconscious guy...  
  
And says 'Sorry, wrong merchant."  
  
(big breeze flies past)  
  
HANAGATA  
  
Well that was stupid.  
  
PEPITO  
  
(no word)  
  
CHERRY  
  
(shrinks)  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
So, back to reality...  
  
Somehow we want to get this guy back home, right?  
  
OTARU  
  
(to the guy)  
  
So where did you say you were from again?  
  
CHERRY  
  
And what's your name?  
  
PEPITO  
  
That's too much! One at time.  
  
Okay.... my name's Pepito and I come from Earth... got it?  
  
So... why that silence of yours?  
  
(notices he has no food)  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
Earth? We're not talking drinks here, are we?  
  
PEPITO  
  
Banana you forgot to put my dish here.  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(looks sheepish)  
  
CHERRY  
  
(pondering)  
  
I think Earth's someplace in New Texas isn't it?  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(know it all)  
  
Earth is old Terra. The planet our ancestors are from.  
  
PEPITO  
  
Nope.... I know about Texas but never knew they were opening a new one.  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
Oh! THAT Earth...  
  
PEPITO  
  
Is there any other?  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(looks cranky)  
  
PEPITO  
  
(looks at Bloodberry, puzzled)  
  
And who are you? Jungle Orange?  
  
CHERRY  
  
Umm...that's a little far...  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(laughs)  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
It's BLOODBERRY, "pepsi-cola"!  
  
PEPITO  
  
I can't hear you?  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
I think this guy's got a hearing problem.  
  
PEPITO  
  
Well, we have a fruit cocktail over here...  
  
Sincerely.... who invented those silly names?  
  
Gee whiz... be smart... don't be a retard.... that's old  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
And your name isn't silly?  
  
Peppy?  
  
PEPITO  
  
Well at least no one will confuse me with a fruit on the supermarket.  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
(arrogantly)  
  
But they might want to stack you next to the condiments with the Salt, Mr. Pepper!  
  
PEPITO  
  
Yeah, well i make someone cough.... what about you.... Jungle Orange?  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
(caught flatfooted)  
  
Er...  
  
PEPITO  
  
Ah hah! Banana could you serve me some rice? You forgot my dish.  
  
CHERRY  
  
(looks confused, pretty sure she did give him a dish)  
  
Hai..hai..  
  
(gives him a new one)  
  
PEPITO  
  
Arigatou!  
  
CHERRY  
  
You're welcome!  
  
PEPITO  
  
Now tell me, Apple.... Do you have a crush on anyone?  
  
(eats)  
  
CHERRY  
  
(blushes)  
  
Oh! What a direct question!  
  
I guess it's no secret, but I am destined to be with Otaru-Sama!  
  
PEPITO  
  
Are you answering?  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
Hey! You mean *I* am!  
  
PEPITO  
  
Oh... what a waste....  
  
You have surely noticed that there's just one of you two winning that piece right?  
  
BLOODBERRY AND CHERRY  
  
(turn to his comment)  
  
What?  
  
PEPITO  
  
Who's winning here I mean?  
  
You won't fall for that " I love you two the same way..." will you?  
  
Why don't you ask him?  
  
HANAGATA  
  
Otaru loves me!  
  
(sneaks his dish away again)  
  
PEPITO  
  
(grabs him before he goes away)  
  
ah ha....  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(tries to blame it on Cherry by pointing at her)  
  
BLOODBERRY AND CHERRY  
  
(change focus to Hana) NO YOU'RE NOT!  
  
PEPITO  
  
Give it back..... I saw you...  
  
We won't hurt you if you give it back... ok?  
  
BLOODBERRY AND CHERRY  
  
I'm Otaru's!  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(runs out of the room with the dish cackling)  
  
PEPITO  
  
Oh well.... maybe next time....  
  
BLOODBERRY AND CHERRY  
  
(Immediately stare at each other)  
  
Hey!  
  
(Both sweetly look to Otaru)  
  
Otaru?  
  
PEPITO  
  
(to Otaru)  
  
You got a problem dude....  
  
OTARU  
  
Um... I love all three of you!  
  
PEPITO  
  
Three? Wait.  
  
(counts Banana and Jungle Orange)  
  
They're just two.  
  
So that means.....  
  
There's another fruit joining the cocktail?  
  
OTARU  
  
Yeah there's Lime.  
  
PEPITO  
  
Lemon?  
  
CHERRY  
  
(sigh)  
  
Pepito-jisan...with bad hearing.  
  
PEPITO  
  
Oh yeah.... and where's the Pinneapple?  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(popping out of a trunk)  
  
DID SOMEONE SAY PINEAPPLE?  
  
(he's dressed up as one)  
  
PEPITO  
  
Give back my rice!  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
I'd boot him again, but I somehow know he'll just pop right back again...  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(dances around in the pineapple costume hoping to impress someone)  
  
PEPITO  
  
And that won't get my rice back...  
  
What a pity...  
  
HANAGATA  
  
I want to be a pineapple!  
  
CHERRY  
  
Speaking of which, where is Lime, anyway?  
  
PEPITO  
  
Maybe she's living her life...  
  
LIME  
  
(breaks down the door and flattens Pineapple Hanagata as she races in with a kitty)  
  
PEPITO  
  
She finally realized she's a free spirit?  
  
LIME  
  
OTARU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
I FOUND A KITTY!!!  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
(mumbling to herself)  
  
She's a free spirit alright...  
  
PEPITO  
  
Hey... I could hear that...  
  
She found a kitty!  
  
I'm no deaf anymore... heh!  
  
CHERRY  
  
(mumbling to herself)  
  
NOW he hears right...  
  
LIME  
  
(dances around with the kitty)  
  
Neko-o!!!  
  
PEPITO  
  
Now this is the Lemon you all been talking about...  
  
CHERRY  
  
Lime!  
  
We're eating here!  
  
Quit putting cat hairs all over the place!  
  
PEPITO  
  
Limon, Cereza y Zarzamora.  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
I'm not eating...  
  
PEPITO  
  
Quite a team....  
  
(whistles)  
  
LIME  
  
(grins at the new guy)  
  
Hao!!!  
  
PEPITO  
  
Hao, Lemon!  
  
LIME  
  
(she shoves the kitty into his face)  
  
LIKE MY KITTY???  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
(to Otaru in a bad italian accent)  
  
Hear that, Otaru? It's Zarzamora!  
  
OTARU  
  
What's a Zaraazama?  
  
PEPITO  
  
Yeah... I like kitties.  
  
Um..... Quite a girl this is....  
  
PEPITO  
  
So.... How are you Limoncito?  
  
LIME  
  
Hehe.  
  
He called me a funny name.  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
Baka.  
  
PEPITO  
  
I did?  
  
Like Cow?  
  
LIME  
  
Ne ne, Otaru? What's a limoncito?  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
Cow?  
  
PEPITO  
  
So Limoncito?  
  
How about Dancing the Conga... since everything's going weird?  
  
LIME  
  
Ne ne, what's a conga?  
  
PEPITO  
  
(Claps. A Conga song is heard)  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(comes in as the pineapple)  
  
PEPITO  
  
Na na na na na NAAAAA  
  
(shakes hips)  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
Where's that music coming from?  
  
PEPITO  
  
It's the advantage of being the writer, Jungle Orange.  
  
CHERRY  
  
Where are those awful pineapple costumes coming from?  
  
PEPITO  
  
I can't answer to that one...  
  
HANAGATA  
  
Sid somebody say COOOOOOONGA????  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
I'm confused... I thought you were "the writer" ?  
  
PEPITO  
  
Uh excepting for the pinneaple...  
  
Na na na na na NAAAAAAAA  
  
(keeps Dancing)  
  
So, Limoncito? You're not up to it?  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
So, shouldn't you have all the answers, such as where the pineapples come from?  
  
PEPITO  
  
Just Dance Jungle Orange!  
  
LIME  
  
Hehe, funny dance!  
  
(joins him)  
  
BLOODBERRY  
  
Well, Otaru?  
  
OTARU  
  
(shrugs and joins Lime)  
  
BLOODBERRY AND CHERRY  
  
Hey!  
  
PEPITO  
  
na na na na na NAAAAAAAAA  
  
(dances gracefully around in circles as the song is played)  
  
HANAGATA  
  
(falls over)  
  
Help meee!  
  
[END SCENE 1] 


End file.
